The dust is settling and I feel as though everything leading up to now has been a dream. A trance of sorts, where half awake and half asleep I moved towards something that may have turned out to just be a mirage. A mirage, disguised and cloaked over and over finally appearing as something else entirely.
Is this a delayed reaction to a major life change, totally normal and passing with time, have I just realized a huge mistake that will result in a metaphorical walk of shame or did I just miss my target?
If it is a normal “growing pain” I’m experiencing than history tells me time will heal all and one day I’ll wake up well adjusted and happy having made a place for myself in my new environment. If I made a huge mistake, confusing desperation for ambition then I’m stuck trying to undo what I was so sure I did right. If it’s the target I missed, where are my tools to navigate to the right place, how do I get to where I’m supposed to be?
I feel blind, as though walking through a dark hall with no light and only hands and apprehension to feel around with, it’s LIMBO one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced.