OhSoVane

Foodie, fumbler and lover writing it all down

Archive for the category “life”

18 Apr 2012
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Love for the Canoe Project

I catch a lot of flack from friends and family for my love of Twitter. I take it all with a grain of salt because I really do feel there is something to love about Twitter. What that something is has been hard to illustrate, until today.

If you’re a member of the Twitterverse than you may have noticed the WLRN Canoe Project going on this week. If not, here’s a break down of what the canoe project is all about. WLRN contributor Terence Cantarella is making his way through Miami via the canals and waterways of the city. You may be asking yourself why someone would take on such a project? He’s  doing it for the sake of the adventure which I think is pretty effin’ cool!

Terence is reminding us to look around and see the adventure that awaits us right in our own back yard. He’s seeing parts of the city most of us only pass over on the highways while we curse the traffic. He’s also reminding us that Twitter really is about having conversations and connecting with people. How do we connect on Twitter? You can go meet Terence as his adventure comes to an end at Scotty’s Landing on Thursday afternoon.

You see, on Twitter there are no privacy settings – you’re tweets are either public or they’re not. The great thing about not having that grey area of “privacy” on Twitter is that it puts you out there for people to approach, most of the time it works out great! You talk to people, you compare views, and you can even make friends in the process.

Terence has awakened a bit more adventure in me and he has solidified the love affair I have with Twitter. The friends I’ve made, the conversations I’ve engaged in and the cool stories like this one have been too good to pass up

An image captured by Terence while canoeing through Miami

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I will keep on taking flack for tweeting to my heart’s content and will find a new adventure of my own. Thanks Terence, you’ve inspired me just a little bit more this morning.

Posted in events, life, Travel and tagged , , , ,
14 Feb 2012

Love and the Lobotomy

“There’s nothin’ in the face. Just like one of those store dummies.” Chief Bromden in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest… 

Relationships vary, I think we all know that. Friendships, marriages, acquaintances, we’ve all had one or a few of these growing up. Some relationships though, look like the quote above – I call these, Store Dummy Relationships.

Store Dummies are people in relationships who forget. They forget where they are, who they are, what they want out of life, and mostly they forget how to do what’s best for themselves. They become, for the purposes of this post, store dummies.

Store dummies are walking among us on a daily basis, they are those people in relationships who say one thing but want another, they have total disregard for their well-being, and they do everything in their power to keep their significant other as close to subliminal happiness as possible.

They make me question the definition of love…

Is the definition of love subjective? Relationships are all different in dynamic and look, so is it the same with the word and sentiment behind love? Isn’t love typically two compatible people building a life together where they are free to grow and better themselves whilst still being supportive, committed, and dedicated to their relationship?

That’s what love is to me (the short version, at least)  and it pains me to see so many people in these relationships hurting themselves. I’m talking about the people who turn a blind eye to abuses, physical or emotional, about the people who have completely abandoned their own beliefs, and mostly the people who have zero regard for how they feel and think that making their partner happy is going to some how fulfill them for eternity. Newsflash folks, it doesn’t work that way!

Shame on these people! They tarnish what a good relationship is all about! How can youngsters, lost souls, or hopeless romantics recognize and hold on to the belief of thriving, loving relationships if all these store dummies are walking around doing it wrong?!

I know I technically could sit idly by and wait for the rose colored glasses to lose their effects but it’s not in my nature to idle. I want to grab all of these store dummies and show them their worth, show them that some mistakes are not worth making, mostly I want to show them that when you value yourself a valuable love will come.

No amount of maneuvering can make a relationship between two store dummies work, in the end, they cannot move freely so they cannot find a way to fit together.

They just don't fit...

Posted in life, Love and tagged , , , , , | Leave a Comment
07 Oct 2011

Decisions, revisited.

From the time we wake up each morning until we lay our heads down at night our days are filled with decisions. Some of them are seemingly meaningless — what to have for breakfast, what to wear, etc. Some of them though are more lasting decisions like — what to major in, what job to take or even where to live.

Last year I made two big decisions and on the cusp of the busiest time of the year I got to revisit them. The first of these heavy decisions was the decision to leave Miami, the second was the decision to come back.

I made the decision to come back to Miami a year ago last month after being away for about six months. I went back to the scene of the decision last week and got to see up close what i had left behind. I got to remember how I felt there, what I was missing, and mostly it reminded me to be grateful for what I have now.

Walking around, I miss New Jersey. I miss the lush side of the highway where deer can be seen grazing, I miss having such tightly knit family around and I miss the access to the rest of the country I felt I had while being there. It’s funny to miss a place so much I barely got to live in, but I do and I know that visiting will never be the same.

Watching friends now, and going through some of my own stuff as well got me thinking that I don’t think we as a people reflect enough on these heavy decisions. How many people really take the time to analyze their lives as they are living it? I’m not talking about sitting down and “what if-ing” yourself to death, I’m suggesting a mere glimpse at the path that has gotten you to your current state. Think of it as smelling the roses or something — I mean, aren’t we supposed to learn for our future based on where we’ve been?

I am grateful for the chance to reflect on where the year as taken me, it’s like a mini birthday or milestone right smack in the time of year meant for gratitude and feelings of the like. I mostly like knowing that today I still stand by all of my decisions, they still feel right, and I still have the confidence to know that I really do know what’s best for me. Even faced with life’s current adversities I am excited about ending 2011 and welcoming of the changes, challenges and experiences 2012 will bring.

Be observant people, it is the only way to really become wise.

Posted in life and tagged , , | Leave a Comment
06 Apr 2011
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I’ll be there for you – No really, I will.

We’ve all seen that show where five friends share their lives and their coffee in the middle of Manhattan, we have all handed out special Valentine’s Day cards to those we love most on that special day and we have all made the conscious choice to share, with a few select people more than we share with most.

Today, I have no episode, no holiday and no choice to make – I have only to declare up front and in the open that without my truest dearest friends I would be lost. Today, on a random Tuesday I can sit here and name on one hand those who would come for me in a storm, those who would sit by my death bed and those who would look after my future if I was not around to live it.

What sparked this gratitude, of course something has to have, right? Well, yes, my gratitude today is sparked by our involuntary vulnerabilities in life, it is sparked by the changes that come with each breathe we take and it is sparked by the peace of mind I live in knowing these people are near me, even when they are not. The people who have told me they would be there and proved it, are the most incredible people I have ever met. In my short 27 years on this planet, living this fumbling mess of a life I have been so fortunate and continue to be reminded of said fortune every time I pick up their call, or are greeted by their hug or made to feel better by their touch. They are each a piece of me, not like a memory or a fond nail polish color, I mean like an organ, vital and necessary for life. They each play a role in who I am in the world and I reciprocate their affections by trying to return the favor. I can only hope to be part of what they are to me.

I will live my life returning the favor of their friendship. Not because I have to or because it is expected but because I genuinely care for these people and they genuinely care for me, we are, as cliché as it may sound, a family. Our lives are intertwined, our love is spread and shared and our futures rest on each other’s happiness. On this, or any other random Tuesday I can call on them or they me and I rest assured knowing all needs will be met and all woes will be corrected.

I have no show, no holiday, no new choices to make but what I have is gratitude towards those I call friends. As precious as if they were born in like family and essential as if they were my brain or my heart.

Posted in life
27 May 2010

Happy Anniversary?

Birthdays, anniversaries, and memorials. Happy or sad there are thousands of occasions that are commemorated at yearly points in our lives. But do we ever stop to realize that on any given day when we are celebrating something momentously happy another person has just shed a tear at the reminder of something terribly sad? So is the case today.

Today is the day my god daughter was brought into this world but it is also the day my life changed like it had not done so before. Although our events took place a year apart the time lines, emotions and realizations are all eternally intertwined, leaving all who know their significance affected for a life time. It goes to the very core of how although technology connects us through social media, the internet and messaging, it cannot feel and it cannot help you tell someone that while their heart has just filled with joy, yours has just shattered into thousands of little pieces.

The birth of a child is always a joyous occasion, as was the birth of my little Addy. Huddled in the waiting area of Mercy hospital I paced with the anxiety of a parent, praying every minute that it would all go smoothly and that soon I would meet this little person who I was anxiously awaiting. Finally, they wheel out this tiny plastic box and inside was this tiny human princess. Sure babies are born every day, but they don’t all make a specified impact on our lives at all times. This one did. From the moment I set eyes on this child I knew she was a special one. One reason being I had no quams about grabbing her up into my arms swaddled as tightly as she could be and staring at her as if there was no one else in the room. While they were all really giving me the stink eye because they wanted to take a look.

One of the happiest moments of my life has been sitting on a chair in the crowded hospital room little Addy in one arm and big brother Michael staring at her as intently as I was while sitting on my lap. We were bonded together by our infatuation for the little bundle and every one else in the room melted away for those few precious moments. They don’t put that kind of stuff on Hallmarks people!

We associate the circle of life with one birth for one death but do you ever stop to think about it as one joy for one pain? I surely didn’t until the moment I realized the healing affects being with Addy had on me during my time of need. She didn’t know and I probably wouldn’t have acknowledged it at the time but taking care of that girl and being there when she needed anything from a diaper change to a kiss goodnight was the best medicine every prescribed.

Fast forward to exactly one year later. Birthday party plans are in place, but first an appointment. Actually it was a court date. One I won’t soon forget. We waited in almost silence, our names were called the papers were signed.

Mrs. and Mrs. once were now Mr. and Mrs. no more. Bring on the candles.

So today on the anniversary of these double wammies I remember, reflect and refeel all of the emotions I felt on those days one and two years ago. I’ve taken the time to be glad and proud that Addy is now speaking, walking and pretty much ruling her world but I’ve also reflected on my emotional journey and the new places in life it has brought me. My mind is like a museum with history on its walls and emotion through art strewn across like paint on canvas.

Lewis Carrol said it best, ” I can’t go back to yesterday- because I was a different person then.”

Down to my core I am different, forever changed by a tragedy and a blessing and I will forever remember that the circle of life is not so simple as birth and death but it is a mosaic of despair followed by success and a canvas full of black strokes and white ones. They all add facet to our character if we let them and all remind us that despite machines, we are all susceptible and touchable humans. We all feel human things and make human mistakes and no distance, time or ip address will change that.

Posted in birth, events, heart ache, life and tagged , , , | Leave a Comment

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